piece of an email conversation with a friend

i'd have to say that i agree with everything you have to say about religion, government, corporations, and even philosophies dividing more than doing anything else. i feel like none of our problems can truly be solved by any of those forces. those forces, more or less, are the causes of most problems. you can link almost anything to the source of religion, government, or corporations--violence, crime, social classes, sexism, racism, homophobia, nationalism, poverty, environmental destruction, animal cruelty, rape.......i could go on forever. for a while i thought, "this organization can fix this problem, this politician can fix that problem" but these problems are so deeply rooted and intertwined that unless something happens to spur a complete transformation, a revolution, america and the rest of the world will just continue in this downward spiral. this downward spiral which, of course, those powerful or rich enough to make a difference are blind to, as a side-effect of (or maybe the intention of) TV, news, shopping malls....although no answer is perfect, i think a good answer for this would be non-hierarchical, self-sustaining communities. smaller groups of people dependent on themselves and each other for food, clothing, and entertainment--not each isolated and dependent on a huge corporation. or people dependent on themselves and each other for comfort and guidance, not dependent on religion. and people dependent on themselves and each other for organization and consensus, not dependent on the outside force of the government. but of course, people would have to change their beliefs and values in order to get to a point where such communities would work well, and in turn the causes of the problems would be absent, and the problems would be fewer. matt thinks that for people to operate interdependently and without a higher power ruling them, the people would not have to have certain beliefs or values about equality or sustainability. he thinks if people are put in that situtation, after a while they will realize it just makes sense and it's the best way to survive. i don't know if the community idea would work unless it was composed of people willing to try living peacefully together.but those are all hypotheticals. all we can really believe or do now is what is right in front of us. so i better start doing what i think needs doing. i feel like the chances of a big transformation are pretty slim, but i figure i can at least try to help some people or affect some places. talk to you later

H20

people all over the world are dying because they don't have access to even a cup of clean drinking water.
we shit in drinking water and flush gallons of it down daily.
what the fuck.

i really suck at bringing the sunshine.

bic c brings the clouds...

ok, i just really need to vent and since i'm at work, this is the most convenient way, as it looks like i am typing something important. WARNING: i'm going to complain. and i understand if this post does not meet the credentials of positivity and must be removed.
so. i'm just feeling kind of disappointed right now. for various reasons. but i won't go over them all. here's what's going on: i've been wanting to go vegan for a while now, so i've been avoiding dairy and eggs (as well as meat.) but after watching Earthlings, i felt in my heart that i did not want to spend another day supporting any industry of unnecessary suffering and abuse. i decided i wanted to lead a lifestyle that is as cruelty-free as possible--for animals, the environment, and other people. so i started looking up stuff about veganism, which at first went well. but i began to stumble upon, well, what i would consider vegan elitism. this was mainly on discussion boards and internet groups, and even a couple sites. people would be extremely critical of each other, always having to be the most extreme, the only "real" vegan...
if people want to boycott refined sugar, honey, and silk clothing, that's great for them. i am still figuring out what i think is right. but i don't understand why people can't just do what they feel is right or just explain why they do it. nope, they can't seem to leave it at that. they were vicious with each other. extremely judgemental and hateful. it was all these people who do not eat, wear, or use virtually any animal by-product, but wouldn't stop telling each other "what?! you had a vegan cookie that included refined sugar? you are NOT a vegan. never call yourself that again. you are ruining the image of vegans..." seriously. i got pretty discouraged. not because i don't think i could fit into their definitions of veganism, but because the definitions seemed to be more about who was the most pure, the most righteous. i felt like they were so focused on the details, they had lost sight of the philosophy of not causing cruelty. i'm pretty sure they would argue that they have not lost sight, but in fact care so much, that they are against any form of harm, however indirect, to any creature, no matter how small. i totally respect that, BUT i have a hard time thinking that justifies treating another person rudely or telling them they are below you. i'm opposed to all forms of cruelty. it's just upsetting to see that this community, which i thought would be encouraging and helpful in my transition into a more compassionate life, turns out to be...kinda mean.
now, i like to figure out what the "other" side is thinking, because i don't think people just think, "hmm, i believe it will be beneficial to tell this 'vegan' they are worthless because they eat/use (fill in the blank with obscure products.)" so, i am going to attempt to understand...
maybe they think that by criticizing someone for not being vegan in the way they feel is truly vegan, is the best way to convince people to help more animals. maybe they think that being mean to someone is outweighed by the benefits of convincing them to do better. maybe they think it is speciesism to think that offending a person is more important than the possibility of saving an animal or insect. but i personally don't think being offensive is going to inspire people to save animals or insects. in fact, i don't even think that's the intention of these people. i think they just want to prove that they are superior because they worry that someone who calls themselves vegan but still keeps their old silk pillowcase around will tarnish their perfect name.
discounting people's efforts does not help a damn thing, besides maybe the ego.
so the next step in thinking should be "then why bother calling myself a vegan, if people are just going to get mad if i mess up?" well, for a few reasons. you see, i have pretty much always avoided labeling myself as anything other than a person who happens to (insert action or life choices here.) but i get so sick of the "norm" being everything i'm against, to the point that everyone just assumes i agree with them or believe like them or live like them. and if i try to tell them i don't agree, they try to convince me that i'm silly or wrong. because they've carefully thought their choices through? No! because they think tradition and majority rules is always good! so i don't want to be mistaken for someone i am definitely not, and i don't want people to treat me like my beliefs are petty and they can talk me out of them. i want to express what i believe in order to connect to other people like me and to send the message to everyone else that i am serious about my choices.

i recommend watching the movie EARTHLINGS.

not!

We're Going!

Me and Big C finally decided that we are not going to stay in college. We are not even completely sure what we are doing but, man!, it feels really good. I finally decided that i could not stay in school after this semester. It just is not the kind of environment that i want to live in. I made the decision that i would finally leave school after debating about for quite sometime. I decided that i could no longer let anything stand in the way of the dreams that i have. I presented this idea to chelsey and we both decided that we are going to do this together! She had also been thinking about it for quite sometime. I am really really excited! We could always possibly end up going back to college if later in life we feel like that is the thing to do. But for now we not letting anything stand in our way. We are going to create positive alternatives to a society we no longer wish to be part of. and along the way we hope to have a lot of fun, write some words, and play some music!
Love, MAtt

sporadic (and colorful!) thoughts

right now i can't tell if i'm excited, nervous, or just had too much coffee. i have no more excuses to be angry or hopeless about my own life because i have the power to control it, or the power to let go and let anything happen. no one is better qualified to tell me how to live my life than me. this doesn't mean i can't choose to learn things from other people, but the thing is--those people are......people. same as me.
it's liberating to realize that we are inherently free. freedom isn't something that's deserved, earned, fought for, or given. it's simply what all humans and all things are. then small groups of men emerge in many countries, decide that they should have the power to dictate everyone else's lives, and justify it through "moral" codes and social norms that are really nothing but tactics of the few to control the many.
then one day you realize that's all that governments are. it's not the only way to live. it's not automatically right. it's not composed of people who are better than you--or for that matter even care about you. it is something that exists only to keep itself in power by "solving" the problems that it creates, over and over. now you can begin to live how you want. you can begin to make your own choices. more importantly, you can finally see that the "choice" between Hot Topic and Hollister is no choice at all when a world exists outside the mall. the "choice" between Republicans and Democrats is no choice when endless possiblilities exist outside the system. unfortunately, some people defend the very system and society that oppresses them because they are indoctrinated to believe that destruction of the mall or the system means destruction of their "freedom" and "choices." of course those with money and power don't want you to believe you can create a new way of life and (truly) think for yourself! but you can! there is no reason we shouldn't try to create self-sustaining non-hierarchical communities. imagine actually making your own food, clothes, homes. or knowing the person you get them from! imagine operating and resolving conflicts like a group of friends or neighbors would. you can argue all the potential flaws of this revolutionary idea, but every way of life has flaws. (especially our current one.) this isn't about a utopia. this is about building a compassionate community that distributes power more evenly so people would have less reason to turn to crime and violence. and when people do turn to destructive means, this is about having a consensus, a true "democracy" on how to deal with that individual.
look, we (myself included) can all talk history and philosophy and propaganda inside our little bubbles. ok, that's fine. but what's important is breaking out of that bubble, taking action in whatever way works for you to create a better society, and living the way your gut knows is right for you. maybe that means dumpster-diving, maybe that means community-gardening, maybe that means laying on the grass instead of watching TV. whatever it is, you'll know.

only one

life.
-c

get free!

dear blog diary that nobody reads,
i hate that we constantly live in a state of fear.
i know this is supposed to be a happy, sunny blog so i will rephrase that now: i would love to be more free.
i don't want to (and shouldn't have to) be afraid of drawing cats and hopscotches and peace signs with chalk. but i sort of am because i could get into trouble for vandalism. i shouldn't have to be afraid of policemen and surveillance cameras seeing me put up anti-police and anti-surveillance stickers. it would be a dictatorship if there couldn't be more than one opinion expressed, right? it's all so crazy. take this afternoon for example. i had to resort to pumping my body full of high-fructose corn syrup and caffeine because i am drowsy as hell from accidentally buying not non-drowsy cough syrup. as i stood in front of the soda machine, in a little corner away from anyone, i really wanted to fix a wedgie that had occured. but then i realized a camera was recording my every move, and i got too nervous to do it potentially in front of the front-desk workers who have camera access.
oh, what to do about this abomination? i could get over myself and take more risks, do what i want despite the consequences, break out of this box of rules and norms and expectations built around us so people like me will feel too guilty or irresponsible or just plain scared to be free.
and i will do this.
little by little, i can feel my thought processes and ingrained conceptions and reality dismantling. this means i can transform. get free.
one day i will be able to compose my opinions in public without looking over my shoulder. one day i will have less fear, or at least more courage to outweigh the fear. and i'm very lucky because until then, i have a wonderful boy who can remind me of this when i start to doubt.
i just wish society was different. but it's not. wishing won't do anything. living how i want [no compromises] WILL do something. especially if living that way breaks me out of that box.


i think i finally understand the quote "get into trouble before it's too late."

--c

Sassy as Fuck!

I love being alive. I can't ever be thankful enough to whatever put me here on earth. Let's just all put on a nice big smile and coast along.

Love, Matt

Midnight Bike Ride!

Actually it was 11:00 or so but midnight is just a much cooler sounding term.
So last night, I was nonchalantly sitting in my dorm room. I had been doing a lot of sitting around and eating crappy food. I was really tired and thought that i might be getting sick. I finished up some homework and decided that this would be a good time to do something else. First i grabbed a book that I recently started called Comfortable with Uncertainty. It is a swell book about learning to let go of things, and become a better person breaking out of your "cocoon." After reading this for a little while, I decided that a bike ride was in order. And let me tell you...that was definitely the right decision. I rode my bike around for about 45 minutes last night. From around 11 o'clock to around 11:45. In this time i taught myself how to ride without hands, i also rode on ice for the first time, which ended up not being nearly as bad as i thought it would be, i rode down a couple of staircases, and just enjoyed myself. At the end of that 45 minutes my hands were completely numb. This allowed me to walk into a library bathroom and pour cold water on them that actually felt warm for a while. I can't tell how good this bike ride made me feel. I felt like a little boy. It was absolutely fantastic! If you've ever seen Yes Man, there is a part where Zooey Deschanel's character mentions that the world is playground and while we are children we remember this. She then mentions that while growing up we somehow forget this. I can't agree with her more. It seems far to often, we forget that we can have fun where ever we are and that we should. Every time that i have done this, it has always worked wonderfully. I feel accomplished and free. Feeling like a child is probably one of the best feelings in the world. You can forget about the stressful things in your life, even if for just a little while. And hopefully, when you are done you will carry that carefree, laidback, relaxed, childlike persona with you when you have to tackle some pressing matters. Just because it is work or paying bills or cleaning or cooking doesn't mean it can't be enjoyable. If you want to enjoy your life make Everything that you do enjoyable.
--Matt

Out of sight, out of mind?

So this past year or so I've been thinking more about where things come from and where things go. As Americans, we consume and waste vast amounts of things. And because we don't see where these things come from or where they end up, we often don't think about it. We don't see the Chinese girl working for almost nothing in a sweat shop, we see the sale price on a toy at Wal-Mart. We don't see the pig being beaten and having its throat slit, we see the crispy strips of bacon.
I'm not saying these things to make myself feel smart or to make other people feel guilty. I think it is unfortunate that we have to be suspicious of companies and products at all. I'm saying (or blogging, I guess) these things because I've recently learned that each small item we purchase carries a lot more baggage than we see. I've learned how "profit over people" corporations can blind us. So I want to give you a heads up.
I don't have any stats to give you or in depth stories, but you can check these things out in the websites and movies listed below. For now, I just want to explain why I feel these issues are important enough to pay attention to in the first place.
When it comes to where things are made, I care because I don't want to support a corporation that takes what could be American jobs overseas and forces children to work in terrible conditions for almost nothing. Other than the few at the top who gain a few extra million by enforcing this, I don't think anyone really wants to support such cruelty in the name of self-interest.
So why do we do it anyway? Well, sometimes people simply don't know or question how their goods are made. Some people do know. But the reality of those terrible conditions doesn't really hit us. We can't imagine our own child being forced to work at a factory to make products for some other country. It just seems so distant; we just feel so unattached. Plus, those jeans are a really good deal. So we give in to consumerism.
Some people believe that the way things are now is good. I've heard, and considered, the argument that although our corporations make people work for almost nothing, almost nothing is better than nothing at all. But who says there is some ultimatum between working for almost nothing for an American company, or having absolutely nothing at all? Instead of doing cheap labor for America, who says that people in other countries wouldn't learn to make goods for and support their own communities? Instead of making shirts for Wal-Mart in exchange for a few cents, maybe they could sell clothes in their own country. Instead of growing coffee and simulaneously starving, maybe they could grow food for themselves to eat. And even if for some reason working in one of our factories is the best a person might get, I still don't want to support the companies that use unethical means of production because I would certainly not be helping raise any of the worker's wages--only adding to the obscene salaries of the capitalistic kings. Even here in America these giant corporations can only be detriments to our communities, as locally-owned businesses get kicked out by low paying franchises.
One more reason we sometimes brush off the facts about where our cheap (and sometimes expensive) stuff comes from and buy buy buy is because "it's the only thing I can afford" or "I need it."
Not really.
I realize some people are in poverty and because stores are so monopolized, they may have no other choices of where to buy things. But for many of us, we don't NEED anything. As long as we have the resources for food, shelter, clothing, safety, and blog-reading, we are not going to die if we don't buy more. In fact we will probably live more simply and free and if enough of us do it, we might curb this mass consumerism (and mass waste and mass corporate power.) We are manipulated into thinking that we need lots of things as fast as possible for as cheap as possible. But we can try to think, "When I purchase this, is my life really going to be improved?" Or "Maybe instead of buying lots of items right now for a cheap price, and possibly having to buy more when they break, I could save up a little money, choose the most important item, and purchase it from a place where I know my money will go to support positive things--not just for me, but for everyone."
It's very difficult to refrain completely from corporations. I know I certainly haven't. But every action that we take affects the system. Of course, people will say that one individual's actions will never change anything. But then, what will? A tree comes only from a seed. A flood is composed of tiny rain drops.
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." --Margaret Mead

cool magazine:
Adbusters

what products to buy or boycott and why:
http://www.knowmore.org/
http://www.stillmadeinusa.com/

movies/web videos:
The Corporation
What Would Jesus Buy?
Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Prices
http://www.storyofstuff.com/


Compassion over Consumerism!
--big c

Girl Talk!

No we are not going to talk to you about menstruation, or high school crushes, or anything thing fun like that. Girl Talk, also known as Gregg Gillis, is an artist who exemplifies the musical styling known as mash-ups. For those who don't know what that is, it entails artists taking samples from already established musicians and mixing them together in order to create a completely new song. Popular albums in this genre include The Grey Album, by DJ Danger Mouse of Gnarles Barkley, who mashed together The Beatles White Album and Jayz' The Black Album. Girl Talk does this quite well, mixing together dozens of samples from dozens of songs in order to make one new song. His latest album, Feed the Animals, includes samples from 300 different songs.
Anyways last night, December 29th, Big C (Chelsey) and I went to a Girl Talk concert. It was an all out party. The night started out with two opening band acts Wallpaper and Dan Deacon. Wallpaper played extremely catchy dance/hip-hop music, not taking themselves seriously for one second of the show. From walking onto the stage pouring a bottle of cheap wine into a Budweiser cup to changing the words of Notorious B.I.G.'s famous "Big Poppa," to "I love it when we call me Wallpaper." Next on the bill was Dan Deacon, playing a very interesting blend of dance and techno with modified vocals, ranging from Alvin and the Chipmunks highs to Darth Vadar lows. Also Mr. Deacon used a refreshingly large amount of audience participation. He set up his table of effects in the audience, orchestrated a dance competition, and encouraged the audience to participate in a human tunnel. Finally, the night culminated with the performance by Girl Talk. This was probably the most exciting, most energentic concert i have ever been to. The only way that i can think to describe it is a mix between a really rowdy rock concert and what i imagine a dance club to be like. Girl Talk walked onto to the stage white, somewhat nerdy, dressed in a plain red hoody with a white t-shirt underneath and dark blue sweatpants, and promptly began to play his music, which mashes together the songs that you would hear on the most popular of popular radio. And on top of that he did the whole show without a hint of irony. Never once did i get the idea that this somewhat nerdy, former engineer mixing together gangsta rap and Twisted Sister was simply being ironic. His entire performance was just appreciation and celebration of the music he was mixing. Girl Talk's performance was probably close to an hour, of nonstop extremely danceable music. Chelsey and I did not stop dancing once during his entire performance, despite the fact that i made her walk up stairs instead of use elevators and we had been standing a lot that day.
It was a wonderful day, with lots of great music, and a lot of fun! Of course I've got to thank my co-pilot Chelsey for making it a particularly wonderful day!
Love, Matt

Our first blog ever!

Much better then a first baby! In this blog, we are going to attempt to shine some sun into your life. We know that no one will probably ever read this but still, we simply try to make our world a little bit brighter. This seems like a pretty good way to do it. Because its free, and simple, and possibly sexy. If the circumstances are okay. -Matt

Chelsey has nothing to say. -Chelsey